Eat It, Damn It!

Reviews, raves, slams, and damns.

Three Boys From Italy

This pizza embodies everything I find wrong with most pizza. If you are a fan of Three Boys, just stop reading now. Their service was polite and friendly. That’s about the only good thing I’m going to write in this review.

In high school, I remember some of my friends raving about Three Boys From Italy. Strangely, their major rave was “It’s huge. When they make a pie, it can barely fit in the box.” I can appreciate value, but who wants an extra helping of something bad?

I had a slice of TBFI those many moons ago, and I remember it being OK. Today I wondered, “What would I think of it now?” I consulted a few online reviews, and positive comments abounded. It’s been so many years since high school, many variables could have changed. Maybe they have new owners? Different ingredients? New ovens?


I got a large pie with pepperoni. From the moment I picked it up, I sensed that I would be in trouble. "That crust is looking awful thick," I thought. The color didn't look bad. It didn't have that white, undercooked look, but instead was a pleasant gold.

It's a shame that the color didn't help the consistency. This was not a pizza. This was a dumpling with sauce and cheese. The bottom of the pizza, through golden, had no crunch and no crispiness. The problem was not the thickness of the pizza, but the fact that I couldn't bite the pizza, but had to tear off bites.

The sauce was fair. It wasn't runny or watery.

The pepperoni was also fine.

TBFI Pie Close
The cheese was an abomination. It is very liberally applied, but it is not worthwhile. It had very little flavor and the consistency of stale bubble gum. Combined with the crust, each bite was like chewing a well-sauced rubber band.

I wonder what the hell people were pleased with in their reviews. TBFI has been around for years. I just finished reading positive reviews, some absolutely gushing with admiration. Could it be that I had just gotten an "off" pie?

Sometimes, it's possible to get a pie that is slightly underdone. In those cases, reheating the next day can yield a completely different experience. The crust can become a little crisper. Some sort of magic happens to the sauce overnight to make it richer.

Nope. Didn't help. The crust become more "done" but not necessarily crisp. Cheese was still awful.

I do not understand the appeal, but I guess some people like doughy pizza. A former co-worker of mine would gush about pizzerias with thick, white, doughy crusts. Aghast, though I was, he firmly stated that he preferred chewy and thick crust to thin and crisp. I really wonder what people are so enamored with when it comes to TBFI. The flavor is decidedly not outstanding. Their prices are fair, but not such a steal that I would return given other options. The pizza is big, but it is not good.

Needless to say, a return trip to TBFI is not in my future.

Three Boys From Italy
704 Burke Ave
Bronx, NY 10467
(Google Map)


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